Persistence

I breathe, but not to breathe.

I drink, but not to drink.

I let the cold numb my fingers

The sweat dry from my body

The chill seep through my tissue,

But not to wait for warmth.

I walk, but without destination.

I eat, but not for pleasure.

I live, but only to live, to live.

I am because I am, because I must be.

365

I wonder just how many breaths I breathe; how many heartbeats this heart shudders with; when I blink, who is keeping count?

My days are racing by. I'll be a year older, soon. Then another year. Then another. Then. I'll be forty-four and looking back at my good ol' days.

So I'm taking back my youth. I am focusing in on my life. I may not change the world like this, but I might positively influence people in my wake. That would be enough: to put a smile on someone's face, to give them a new light, a new perspective.

And just for kicks, I will take my camera with me, too. A new project--one I've been meaning to undertake: take at least one photo a day. Every day. For a year. Starting on my birthday.

My sister, Courtney, has done this successfully. She can look back on every day and say, "Hey, I remember that!" for even the smallest of things.

I am determined to find the beauty and significance in even the most insignificant day, because there are no insignificant days. Because this is my life, that's why!

So! Cheers! Here's to my upcoming year of no less than 365 photographs, undoubtedly more than that, I'm sure.

Here's to life!

p.s.

180 Degrees South: Conquerors of the Useless

The Sound That Blood Makes

I am the sound that blackness makes
When it hits the pages of your thoughts.
It is recorded without your knowledge,
Without your help or guidance,
Without your approval. Such as it is
One day you will thank me.
Until then I am just a sound.
Just a hum. Murmur.
Like your head was upon your mother’s chest
And your eardrum captures
The reverberations of her heartbeat
Deep beneath her rib cage –
But she is gone, gone, gone.
And has been for years.
I am the sound in the blackness
That heightens your thoughts.
Perhaps it will return! The plague!
Your ignorance is what I have left to hold
In the darkness; the sound of blood,
Surging through organs to bring life.
You curse my lifeblood while gazing
Into the shallow sea of my eyes –
This cage, you hear the echoes.
But it is dead, dead, dead.
And has been for months. Yes, me.
But I am alive -- like her.
With your curses you spring hope.
My hope is what you aim to smother.
But fear not, I will not drown. Not now.
Not for you or for us, but for It.
I am the sound that your heart makes
When the blackness has left your pages
And your thoughts turn again to Blood
And It will surge through your hope organ
And play a tune so soft
That it will revive us
And we will live, live, live