Second to Last Day

Second to last day at Vista High School. Anticipation and bitter-sweet thoughts. Did I do all that I could for them? What did they learn about themselves? It’s never about me, you know. It is about them: the students. They give me an energy in the classroom that I cannot describe. It is better than coffee, more filling than a feast. I have many purposes in life, but they have given me one more; live for them, teach for them, and be there for them. If I can show them but a glimpse of the world and what it would be like without injustice, then I have done my job.

Looking toward the summer, just barely looking up enough to see the horizon, and I am blinded by uncertainty. That is what makes life mysterious, however, and interesting. I crave the Unknown; We only fear the Unknown? I then crave fear, if only to overcome it.

I clench and unclench my fists, feeling my fingernails on my palms. Nails? I need to climb. I need to run. I need to get by body back to where it was before. Selah.

My keyboard has finally been thoroughly broken in and I type seamless sentences. My thoughts, my brain, my words.

Mom and I had a good conversation about my life last night. I spoke my mind, she listened, she didn’t condemn: we are improving.

I feel older. It seems that I am learning life lessons exponentially. I am more aware of myself, more attentive to my actions, words, intentions, and feelings. I am here: now. This is a beautiful day, a timeless moment. May I make the most of it.